Perseverance

Praise God! Holly is cancer free. Thank you so much to all my dear friends who are praying for her. It has been a long road. She still needs to meet with an oncologist to decided if they want to pursue further treatment. They are discussing using Interferon which has very nasty side affects and can only offer you a 10 % chance that it will work. Apparently melanoma does not respond to chemo therapy or radiation, which is one of the reasons it is so deadly. It is also usually very aggressive and fast moving. I am so thankful Holly's melanoma remained encapsulated and didn't spread, especially since it was misdiagnosed in 2005.

Please pray for wisdom for Holly and her husband. I personally think it is a no brainer...I suspect she would have a greater than 10% improvement with a holistic nutritional approach and actually heal her body and not harm it, but it is not my decision. All I can do is pray, ask for prayer, give my opinion, and help to the best of my ability. I wasn't able to help as much as needed or I would have liked to do. It was all I could do to take care of myself before, and just what I did do has brought on unbearable pain.

Needless to say, this has been a very difficult season. If you have read any of my blogs on chronic pain you understand what I deal with on a daily basis. I have to admit I need prayer more than ever... Not feeling the joy I once did. This past year in Indiana has really taken its toll on me. After 5 years in Texas, Indiana just seems depressing. I miss the Texas weather, I miss my friends, and I miss my church. I live in a community oppressed by darkness and I just don't have the strength to shine brightly, bubble, or smile. Yes, yes...it is "Christ in me the hope of glory."

I wrote the previous paragraphs a couple of day ago...I just didn't have the strength to finish, but I didn't hit delete...Praise God...which many times I do. I am in even more pain after writing "Are you a Perfectionist." I suppose I could blame Preston...I told him I would like to get back to writing. He said, "Knowing how good it will be, I think you should push your hands... I'm sorry, if it hurt's Brenda, but we wanna hear what God says to/through you... :-D" ...So, I persevered.

"Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him." James 1:12

Perseverance is continuance despite difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement. So, I am going to continue...to the best of my ability. I learned you need to "look" for encouragement in the midst of your discouragement. I edit and post Preston's bible study every morning, so I begin my day in The Word... Still struggled...then I came upon a series on worship and realized I was letting the enemy steal my worship and my joy. It really blessed me and made me realize satan was trying to make me feel disqualified because of everything wrong with me. I just needed to press on and press in, with a whole lot of patience. God's timing is not always our timing.

"Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD." Psalm 27:14